Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
 
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room..

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

• My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
• The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
• My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
• My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
• I had no control over the drooling.
• Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
• I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

Just had to share this one                 http://www.hammerdownbiker.com/

Perfect Pair of Motorcycle Boots

A good pair of motorcycle boots are an essential part of your motorcycle gear. It's a big decision! You want both protection and comfort. Do you want slip ons, zip up or tie ups? What color do want? How about the length, tall or short? Steele toe or non-steel toe?  I prefer the tall boots for the protection of my shines and the feeling that  my boots will offer maximum protection in case of accident.  Make sure your have good tread on your boots, both to secure your foot on the gears and when you put your feet on the ground.
There is certainly no shortage of style's and designs out there to choose from. Make sure the boots fit your feet snugly,  not so tight were it feels like your blood circulation is being cut off, but not so loose you feel they could fall off. If you plan on wearing heavy socks, you might buy a half size larger. There are boots for men and women. Being leather, it is wise to break in your boots before your take that ride. Nothing is better than a comfortable pair of broken in boots, as you will also spend considerable time walking in them also. If your feet aren't comfortable, the rest of the body probably isn't either! http://www.hammerdownbiker.com/

Men's Harley-Davidson Dipstick Boot



Women's Harley-Davidson Alana Boots



The Invisible Helmet

Have you heard about the Invisible Helmet "Hovding". It's not for motorcyclist yet, but for bicyclist. CRAZY! It's a helmet made of a small, helium gas cyclinder with abnormal motion sensors that inflate into an air-filled cushion around the bicyclist head when detecting an impact within 0.1 second. The invisible helmet is a removable fabric collar,folded airbag that is visible only on impact. It will be easy to carry and will come in different removable styles and fabrics. It is supposed to come out this spring. Not sure if once it is inflated you have to buy a new one or if you can repack it. It would be great if they make one for us motorcyclist. Especially, for the ones that persist on not wearing a helmet. Until then, I'll keep my motorcycle helmet on.

http://www.hammerdownbiker.com/

Hammerdownbiker.com 

Biker Jacket- Her Name

He stopped over for a visit on his motorcycle wearing his n the back of his jacket he had a ladies name on it. “Gloria”. Curious, I had to ask him who she was, knowing he was married and her name was not “Gloria”.   His comment was, “Let’s take a ride and I’ll introduce you to her!”   So we hopped on his motorcycle and took a ride around town. When we returned he asked me what I thought. Thought about what? Due to the puzzled look on my face he said, “My bike!” Her name is “Gloria”.” My wife will always be # 1, but riding my bike gives me a feeling of freedom and “glory”, hence Gloria.    After a long laugh, I told him she was a nice ride.

If you have that special name for your bike please share it, and how you came up with the name? Do you have his or her name on your biker jacket, vest or maybe even your helmet?

                                                          He calls her Gloria!

http://www.hammerdownbiker.com/

Riding Safe

Nothing is more enjoyable while you’re riding your motorcycle.  You know your bike is mechanically sound and your saddlebags are filled.  Your body is protected with your leather biker jacket, leather pants, motorcycle boots, eye protection and a motorcycle helmet. While everything is perfect, your mind has to be set too!  Distractions have to be set aside.  Like talking to your passenger, taking your eyes off the road, thinking about work or the bad discussion you had with your partner.  Just feel the bike, enjoy the road and scenery ahead of you.  Don’t be over confidence, engage yourself mentally thinking of “the what if’s”.  “What if” the car ahead of you slams on the brakes are you prepared for your next step?  Or the car passing your cut you short, where will you go?   You have to have a prepared non-drift mind. Take in the relaxation.  Remember this is what we love to do, is ride.  So let’s enjoy the rest of the motorcycle season.

http://www.hammerdownbiker.com/

Baby Boomers take the Ride

It nice to see the younger generation out on the open road enjoying ride, like us Baby Boomers. Yes for most us we hit the mid-life crises and had to do something exciting, “buying a motorcycle”, which was the case in my crowd. Next came our motorcycle jackets, leather chaps or pants, awesome eye protection (whether it be goggles or sunglasses), the stylish motorcycle boots and of course the doo-rags and helmets. We were ready!

The feeling and sound of your bike going down the road. The openness of the wind and the magnificent scenery. It sad to think you waited this long to enjoy this feeling. So when I see the next generation drive down the road, I envy them because they had an early start. They know all ready the open road feeling. It took us a mid-life crisis to come along. But it’s over now, so let’s all gear up and enjoy the open road. Be SAFE!

Ready To Ride

Nothing is more enjoyable than riding your motorcycle.  You know your bike is mechanically sound and your saddlebags are packed. Your body is protected with your favorite leather biker jacket, leather pants, motorcycle boots, eye protection and helmet.  While your all geared up, remember your mind has to be in gear also!  Let the road take over, forget about work, and all the little worries racing around in the back of your mind. Get into the non-drift mode. Relax, enjoy the feel of your bike, the sound of your motor, and the tranquility of the open rode. Let's do what we love to do, ride! "Just make sure you are ready to ride and all geared up by visiting our website for all your needs http://hammerdownbiker.com" Ride Hard! Ride Safe!